A political discussion between Red State conservative Dave Simpson - a former reporter, editor, publisher and columnist - and Greg Bean, Blue Stater and executive editor of Greater Media Newspapers.

Dear Greg:

Every now and then, folks out here in the bucolic Flyover Country Red States get a whiff of what you sophisticated Blue State dandies really think of us.

And as you know, it always reminds me of howmy favorite columnist, the late, great Mike Royko, once described people who live in downstate Illinois. Downstate, as you recall, is everywhere other than Chicago, and Royko said people who lived there were "rubes and stump jumpers,'' and he refused to go there.

And, after what your Democrat friends' favorite candidate Barack Obama said last week, it's clear tome that youmore evolved, stylish, highly taxed Easterners think the rest of us are hopeless rubes and stump jumpers who have to be protected fromourselves.

As you know, the most liberal man in both the Illinois Senate and the U.S. Senate said people like us get bitter when the local factory shuts down and the president doesn't get right on his big old jet plane and fly out to get us new, well-paying jobs. Then, with our childlike belief that the federal government can solve every problem for us crushed, we turn to religion and our deer rifles for something, anything, to believe in.

So that, apparently, is what you slick cosmopolitan types think of us - Biblethumping rubes and stump jumpers in bib overalls who go out to the dump to plink varmints and drink 40-ouncers to while away the hours since we got laid off at the washing machine plant.

I suspect, with your Red State roots, that you don't subscribe to this, Greg, but your Blue State colleagues apparently do.

As you know, we're a lot more sophisticated out here in the Red States than some might think.Why, the other day, I was talking to my barber Floyd about Barack's plans to let those Bush tax cuts expire. We're worried that with his plan to bring back the marriage penalty, our friends Andy andHelen will never be able to afford to get married, and that's a shame.

With the price of food going up, and the end of the Bush tax cuts, we're afraid Andy'sAunt Bea won't be able to cook those great meals for Otis and the other guys in the jail anymore.

Floyd told me that times are so tough over atWally's filling station that his assistant Gomer went and joined the Marines. His cousin Goober is taking his place, but it won't be the same.

So, Greg, that's how things are going out here in the Red States.We're not bitter now, but we will be if President Barack or President Hillary lets those tax cuts expire, like they say they will. Say what you want about us out here in the Red States- we're smart enough to know that this biggest tax increase in history is not the solution to anything.

As Forrest Gump said in that swell movie, Greg, "Stupid is as stupid does.''

Gotta go now, Greg. My boy Opie and I are going out to the dump to plink varmints withmy .22.Maybe I'll takemy Bible along, and we'll read some scriptures while we reload.

As always, your friend,

Red State Dave

Dear Dave:

I was reading a story about how much Barack Obama and his wife reported as income last year, $4.2million. The same year, the Clintons reported an income of $20.4 million (they reported $109million between 2000 and 2007). John McCain recently released his 2007 tax return, and claimed $258,840 in taxable income for the year.

His wife, Cindy, however, is a beer heiress worth more than $100 million, so I don't think theMcCains drive a beige minivan with over 100,000 miles like you do, or a (paid-off) 2003 Ford pick-up likeme. They probably aren't evenworriedwhat they'll do if gas hits $4 a gallon this summer, as predicted. They might have lost money from their 401(k) accounts in the recent market turmoil, but I doubt they'll be eating cat food in their golden years.

Fact is, Dave, none of these people can feel our pain, and they have about as much business talking about what regular people think and believe as a mule does reading Shakespeare. You gotta admit, however, that it's a hoot watching themtry to act like average Joes.

The film of Barack Obama bowling a world-shattering 37 (a score I got when I was 5, throwing between my legs) as he campaigned through Pennsylvania will keep me entertained through many a dark night next winter.

And the thought of head librarian Hillary plinking gophers off the back porch with her .22 is enough to make me laugh and scream in absolute fright at the same time. Give her a gun and I predict she'd pull a Cheney in no time at all.

I thought (briefly) that Hillary might turn out to be a regular person after all when I saw those videos of her knocking back a shot and a beer recently like a bluecollar worker on Friday night. Then, I learned that instead of Black Jack or Old Grand-Dad, she was shooting Crown Royal (Canadian!) and it destroyed the whole illusion. Who drinks Crown Royal shots, Dave? A wimp who doesn't appreciate American sour mash Kentucky bourbon, that's who. I can't vote for a person like that. She's the sortwho'd pick the skin fromherKFC extra crispy because of the calories.

I want you to cast yourmind back to the day you bought your .30-06 deer rifle, my friend, and remember who not only suggested themake and caliber, but helped you sight it in, just in case a hungry bear turned up at your cabin. That was me, Dave. You got a rifle just like mine, because I knew it was a good one. And you and I spent many evenings sipping real bourbon, drinking beer from a pitcher and eating cheeseburgers at Frosty's. So you know wheremy sympathies lie. It isn't guys like me, even out here in the Blue States, who think you're rubes and stump jumpers there in flyover country. It's elitistswho think thatway, people like Barack, John and Hillary.

So what if they let the tax cuts expire, and working stiffs have to buy mac and cheese by the skid-load at Sam's Club to keep their children fed? They can afford paying extra taxes, and we can't. I'm no longer sure what we're gonna do about that.

Y'r confused friend,

Blue State Greg

You can reach Greg Bean via e-mail at

gbean @gmews.com. Dave Simpson can be

reached at d_simpson@bresnan.net.